Friday, August 20, 2010

Travelling, what could be worse?

Another day of traveling across this great country. I don't so much mind the traveling, I actually enjoy it. I did not enjoy paying $25 just to have clean underwear next week. Bag fees are enough to piss of the pope. But what can we do? It's not like we could all boycott the airlines...

I think what bothers me most is the absolute lack of control you have when traveling. First is the degrading barefoot march after disrobing for the TSA. That itself is on the verge of humiliating for some folks. It's also the first step for losing control. From that moment on, your day, and your life, is squarely in the hands of other people. Nothing you do is going to bring a delayed plane in any faster. No amount of angry venting is going to un-overbook the flight. No prayer known is going to decrease the weight of the fleshy flier in the seat next to you.

I suspect this is the same feeling for most folks. When you travel by air, you're in the hands of aviation professionals who, sometimes, aren't very professional. They are entirely human however, you may want to remember that, Mr. Seat 18b. You should not have called that lady that name. Granted, she is the visible source of your frustration, but she is also just a drone who knows how to do very few things. One thing she does besides call of boarding rows is RE-BOOK FLIGHTS. So, if you're really wondering why I got on the next flight out, with a please and a "thank you ma'am", and you're still stuck at O'Hare... Go figger.

So, I guess my anxiety and frustration usually just stems from that helpless feeling you get when you become a faceless number in a crowd of "passenger 57s". Whenever you surrender that elusive feeling of control to someone else, or a bunch of someone elses, this is what happens. Maybe this is why drunks and druggies don't hate airports? They never feel "in control" anyhow.

Then there are the seats. Airplane seats are designed to dehumanize you, of this I am sure. Now, I am not a small person by any stretch, but I am also not the fleshy flier either. My arse fits quite comfortably into the seat. Alas, like most humans I was born also with shoulders. The shoulders and arms are what simply do not fit on aircraft. I usually try to have a window seat, but I still don't know what to do with that other hand. It always hangs over the seat divider. So sorry, guy who came after me, this is MY armrest, go find your own. You actually end up flying the whole time holding your arms in, and god are they sore after a 5 hour flight.

Today was a good day, all my flights were on time, the seat next to me was empty and the weather was just fine. What happens at the car rental, who knows....

And that was American airlines. Today, the far end of my trip, I fly Delta. I have a new theory. Delta sux donkey arse. I guess thats a statement and not a theory so much. On American airlines, I felt like the people listened to me and my concerns. They didn't do anything about them (drones can't make substantive changes), but they listened. On Delta it's just, shove your arse on board and let's go. Flying through their major hub in Atlanta is a guarantee of at least a one hour delay.

I love flying. I hate airlines and airports

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:35,000ft above America