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Begin Transmission
Repetition of General Directive 264-A-XCIV
To: Distribution, Sectorium Primus
From: Office of The Grand Inquisitor, Ebineezar Grinchanius
Re: Yearly Chaos Incursion
This purpose of this notice is to remind the forgetful of the annual visitation by the minion of Chaos known to the unworthy as Santa Claus.
+++ The Emperor's Light Banishes the Shadows of Heresy +++
As the diligent will recall, the incursion occurs regularly every 8742 to
8766 Terran hours, roughly corresponding to a Terran year. This trespass has
occurred with disturbing regularity since at least the Horus Heresy, and
perhaps longer, as many records were misplaced.
+++ Love and Obey the Emperor +++
The faithful will recognize the target on sight, as his garb and gear mark
him immediately as an agent of the abominations.
Santa Claus is a corpulent, bloated creature approximating the human form.
It wears a crimson tunic the color of fresh blood, marking him as a possible
follower of Khorne. It is bearded, mocking the honorable Squats, and its
hair is a sallow shade of gray, betraying its unnatural age. Be advised that
despite the creatures fearsome name, no claws have been observed, and the
former is likely a ruse.
The target has been observed in the company of smaller creatures having the
appearance of thin (less than 30 kg, approx.), stunted (1.5 meters)
humanoids with pointed ears. Their appearance suggests the involvement of
the decadent panzee, and although that race denies involvement (*reference
the Rudolphian Campaign [index 4111-BGE-MMXCII-Primus], specifically the
Battle of Yukon Coneliaus IV [ibid., index 6]*), agents are advised to be
prepared for their involvement, as the panzee are known for their deceitful
ways.
Santa Claus is conveyed by means of a grav-sled powered by unnatural
livestock as detailed below.
The target's vehicle is a grav-sled. It has superfluous runners which are
used only on landing and take-off. Despite the appearance, no frozen water
is necessary for its operation (another ruse). The vehicle's resemblance to
the foul Palanquin of Nurgle should not be discounted, even though the
colors continue to be reminiscent of Khorne.
The device is powered by the unholy ministrations of eight or nine
quadrupeds. Ordo Malleus scholars have identified these creatures as warped
versions of an extinct species of Terran mammal known as a Moose (reference
900002-ER-CIV). These beings single-mindedly pull the target's vehicle
during its yearly invasion. They are outfitted with belled harnesses which
are apparently imbued with the ability of flight. These beasts have been
likened to the Fiends of Slaanesh, and such a comparison should not be
dismissed too lightly, as the creatures shed a luminous substance as
effluent as they move. Inquisitors should take care to avoid exposure.
Perhaps more disturbing is the variable number of the minion-creatures. On
occasion, a ninth Moose has been observed, placed before the other Mooses.
This creature radiates a sickly reddish glow from its snout, as a psychic
beacon to other followers of the Vile Ones. This Chaotic device has allowed
the target to navigate despite our best efforts to jam its navigation
systems.
+++ Blessed is the Virtue of Blind Faith +++
Santa Claus gains entry to the domiciles of loyal Imperial Citizens (see
below) and leaves small Chaos Rewards to tempt the faithful.
Inquisitors are reminded to confiscate and incinerate these items before any
lasting damage is done. As a localized temporal distortion field is in
effect around the target, these items are secreted in the habitations of the
Imperium at exactly 2400 hours in every location defiled by the creature. It
is therefore possible to gain entry to the citizens' quarters and remove the
items (often cunningly hidden in footwear) before the citizens are aware of
the heresy that has been committed upon them.
In other cases, removal of the items after the citizens have discovered them
is possible. In such situations, small children are occasionally loath to
surrender the items, as the tainting of the juveniles has already begun.
Executions of the above are to be handled in the most expedient manner
possible.
Often, juveniles that are well within the Emperor's Grace are given small
blocks of graphite ore rather than the more tempting gifts visited upon the
less faithful. The identity of these individuals are to be recorded, as
future recruitment into the Inquisition or Adeptus Terra is possible [Note:
Inquisitors or other agents who do *not* receive the graphite stones should
be watched carefully].
Santa Claus enters the domiciles be way of heating ducts and waste vents.
The size of the opening is not a factor, as the creature can adjust its mass
and displacement by means of psychic manipulation. Mining these openings
with frag, krak and other demolitions has proven unsuccessful.
The creature egresses by the same means, after ritually caressing his
nostrils. No mucus has ever been recovered.
+++ The Death of Emperor's Enemies is the Only Gift We Can Give +++
Although all previous attempts at the destruction of Santa Claus have
failed, Inquisitors are urged to make such an attempt whenever possible.
However, of more importance is the suppression of cultist activity
associated with the yearly incursion. The Tainted have been known to erect
shrines in their homes in the form of shrubbery adorned with baubles and
lights [Note: the shrubbery is often highly inflammable, and offers a
discrete method of executing the offending heretics without calling undue
attention to the operation].
Other warning signs include:
Hallucinations involving sugared candies during slumber;
Excessive singing;
References to "a magical time of year" (note the influence of Tzeentch);
The construction of effigies made of snow; and
The performance of Slaanishi rituals while underneath plant clippings of the
genus Phoradendron flavescens.
Once again, executions should be handled in an expedient manner.
+++The Emperor Protects+++
End Transmission
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A Wargaming, Warhammer AoS, WH40k, and other miniatures hobby blog. I like to review products, talk about things going on in the hobby world, and hopefully help people with modelling hints and tips.
Showing posts with label Chaos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chaos. Show all posts
Monday, December 21, 2015
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Yearly Chaos Incursion - Be Wary!
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Begin Transmission
Repetition of General Directive 264-A-XCIV
To: Distribution, Sectorium Primus
From: Office of The Grand Inquisitor, Ebineezar Grinchanius
Re: Yearly Chaos Incursion
This
purpose of this notice is to remind the forgetful of the annual
visitation by the minion of Chaos known to the unworthy as Santa Claus.
+++ The Emperor's Light Banishes the Shadows of Heresy +++
As the diligent will recall, the incursion occurs regularly every 8742 to 8766 Terran hours, roughly corresponding to a Terran year. This trespass has occurred with disturbing regularity since at least the Horus Heresy, and
perhaps longer, as many records were misplaced.
+++ Love and Obey the Emperor +++
The faithful will recognize the target on sight, as his garb and gear mark him immediately as an agent of the abominations.
Santa Claus is a corpulent, bloated creature approximating the human form. It wears a crimson tunic the color of fresh blood, marking him as a possible follower of Khorne. It is bearded, mocking the honorable Squats, and its
hair is a sallow shade of gray, betraying its unnatural age. Be advised that despite the creatures fearsome name, no claws have been observed, and the former is likely a ruse.
The target has been observed in the company of smaller creatures having the appearance of thin (less than 30 kg, approx.), stunted (1.5 meters) humanoids with pointed ears. Their appearance suggests the involvement of
the decadent panzee, and although that race denies involvement (*reference the Rudolphian Campaign [index 4111-BGE-MMXCII-Primus], specifically the Battle of Yukon Coneliaus IV [ibid., index 6]*), agents are advised to be prepared for their involvement, as the panzee are known for their deceitful ways.
Santa Claus is conveyed by means of a grav-sled powered by unnatural livestock as detailed below.
The target's vehicle is a grav-sled. It has superfluous runners which are used only on landing and take-off. Despite the appearance, no frozen water is necessary for its operation (another ruse). The vehicle's resemblance to the foul Palanquin of Nurgle should not be discounted, even though the colors continue to be reminiscent of Khorne.
The device is powered by the unholy ministrations of eight or nine quadrupeds. Ordo Malleus scholars have identified these creatures as warped versions of an extinct species of Terran mammal known as a Moose (reference 900002-ER-CIV). These beings single-mindedly pull the target's vehicle during its yearly invasion. They are outfitted with belled harnesses which are apparently imbued with the ability of flight. These beasts have been likened to the Fiends of Slaanesh, and such a comparison should not be dismissed too lightly, as the creatures shed a luminous substance as effluent as they move. Inquisitors should take care to avoid exposure.
Perhaps more disturbing is the variable number of the minion-creatures. On occasion, a ninth Moose has been observed, placed before the other Mooses. This creature radiates a sickly reddish glow from its snout, as a psychic beacon to other followers of the Vile Ones. This Chaotic device has allowed the target to navigate despite our best efforts to jam its navigation systems.
+++ Blessed is the Virtue of Blind Faith +++
Santa Claus gains entry to the domiciles of loyal Imperial Citizens (see below) and leaves small Chaos Rewards to tempt the faithful.
Inquisitors are reminded to confiscate and incinerate these items before any lasting damage is done. As a localized temporal distortion field is in effect around the target, these items are secreted in the habitations of the
Imperium at exactly 2400 hours in every location defiled by the creature. It is therefore possible to gain entry to the citizens' quarters and remove the items (often cunningly hidden in footwear) before the citizens are aware of the heresy that has been committed upon them.
In other cases, removal of the items after the citizens have discovered them is possible. In such situations, small children are occasionally loath to surrender the items, as the tainting of the juveniles has already begun. Executions of the above are to be handled in the most expedient manner possible.
Often, juveniles that are well within the Emperor's Grace are given small blocks of graphite ore rather than the more tempting gifts visited upon the less faithful. The identity of these individuals are to be recorded, as future recruitment into the Inquisition or Adeptus Terra is possible [Note: Inquisitors or other agents who do *not* receive the graphite stones should be watched carefully].
Santa Claus enters the domiciles be way of heating ducts and waste vents. The size of the opening is not a factor, as the creature can adjust its mass and displacement by means of psychic manipulation. Mining these openings with frag, krak and other demolitions has proven unsuccessful.
The creature egresses by the same means, after ritually caressing his nostrils. No mucus has ever been recovered.
+++ The Death of Emperor's Enemies is the Only Gift We Can Give +++
Although all previous attempts at the destruction of Santa Claus have failed, Inquisitors are urged to make such an attempt whenever possible.
However, of more importance is the suppression of cultist activity associated with the yearly incursion. The Tainted have been known to erect shrines in their homes in the form of shrubbery adorned with baubles and lights [Note: the shrubbery is often highly inflammable, and offers a discrete method of executing the offending heretics without calling undue attention to the operation].
Other warning signs include:
Hallucinations involving sugared candies during slumber;
Excessive singing;
References to "a magical time of year" (note the influence of Tzeentch);
The construction of effigies made of snow; and
The performance of Slaanishi rituals while underneath plant clippings of the genus Phoradendron flavescens.
Once again, executions should be handled in an expedient manner.
+++The Emperor Protects+++
End Transmission
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Editor's note - I did not originate this, I saw it a few years back and pilfered it!!!! I am not sure where, but please don't think I'm the one behind it!
Editor's note - I did not originate this, I saw it a few years back and pilfered it!!!! I am not sure where, but please don't think I'm the one behind it!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Jumping on the CSM/Chaos Bandwagon
Ok, ok, so I did it. I jumped on the bandwagon of the old Chaos/CSM steam train. It's not like I wanted to, it's Chaos damnit, it worms it's way in, it finds ways into your day. It didn't hurt that a friend was selling his Chaos army and the price was right.
I got a heck of deal on this army, and having already tried it once, I like the way it played. And get this, I played without a Heldrake. Now, I did go buy a Heldrake, and it is on the list to build, but for now, I like what I have.
Oh yeah, here is the stuff I got.
What I really like is that most of it metal, love the metal figs, really. The plastic is great, but I like the heft of the metal figs.
So, some of this goes to the stripper barrel right away, but a lot can just hit the paint line now. Ahhh, the joys of Chaos!!!!
No game this weekend, had a trip to Ruidoso for some cabin/camping/getting away from it all... Back to BatReps soon, I hope!
I got a heck of deal on this army, and having already tried it once, I like the way it played. And get this, I played without a Heldrake. Now, I did go buy a Heldrake, and it is on the list to build, but for now, I like what I have.
Oh yeah, here is the stuff I got.
- Daemon Prince (Metal, painted)
- Abaddon (Metal, Primed)
- Fabius Bile (Metal)
- Kharne the Betrayer (Metal)
- Ahriman (Metal)
- Lucius the Eternal (Metal)
- 2x Chaos Sorcerers (Metal, Different models, 1 painted)
- Chaos Lord (Metal, Painted)
- Chaos Lord in Term Armor (Metal, with extra set of arms)
- 17 Chaos Space Marines (Mix of painted, primed and non-primed)
- 1 Chaos Space Marine with Banner (Metal)
- 6 Chaos Terminators (Metal, 2 have Reapers, all primed)
- 12 Khorne Berserkers (1 painted, 11 Base Coated)
- 1 Khorne Berzerker on Steed (Metal, Primed)
- 7 Plague Marines (Metal)
- 7 Possessed (5 Metal, I have box)
- 1 Noise Marine? (Metal guy, big gun)
- 5 Raptors (Metal in box)
- 2 Obliterators (Metal)
- 1 Chaos Rhino (Primed, well used)
- 2 Defilers (1 primed)
- 1 Chaos Land Raider (Needs some assembly)
- 1 Daemon Bloodletter of Khorne (Metal, primed, missing a wing)
- 5 Daemon Hounds (Metal, primed)
- Various Chaos bits
- Chaos side of Dark Vengeance Limited box
What I really like is that most of it metal, love the metal figs, really. The plastic is great, but I like the heft of the metal figs.
So, some of this goes to the stripper barrel right away, but a lot can just hit the paint line now. Ahhh, the joys of Chaos!!!!
No game this weekend, had a trip to Ruidoso for some cabin/camping/getting away from it all... Back to BatReps soon, I hope!
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